A Song

Talk To My Lawyer

I was walking outside of City Hall - I slipped & I had a terrible fall
It was negligence on the part of I don't care who
I fell so hard I was seeing stars - dollar signs and men from Mars
And the man who helped me up said I ought to sue
(He was a lawyer...he was all out of breath)

Once I had an accident - not too bad, just a little dent
A new Mercedes hit me from the rear
Man got out in a 3 piece suit & asked if a thousand dollars would do
I said, "Well, let me think for a minute here"

I'm gonna talk to my lawyer - I might have whiplash
I might have trauma - let's not talk petty cash
I've got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible
Jury jury, hallelujah - you might be liable

My Momma said to Uncle Jim, "I just don't know what's wrong with him...
That son of mine is a no-good big wazoo"
Well, I have never overheard such a bunch of slanderous words
I'll tell you Momma, I've got a mind to sue

I'm gonna talk to my lawyer - Momma, that was vicious
Defamation of character - wrongful and malicious
I've got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible
Jury jury, hallelujah - you might be liable

I was trying to open up my map - when I spilled some coffee on my lap
How was I supposed to know it was going to be hot?
I went back to that fast-food place, to the manager with the happy face
I said, "I want the name of whoever brewed that pot"

I'm gonna talk to my lawyer - I think I've got a pretty good case
All I need are some crutches - maybe I'll put on a neck brace
I've got a witness - to put a hand on the Bible
Jury jury, hallelujah - somebody's liable